Just Nonsense

Long time, no blogging. Been having a good time though recently. My daughter is now twelve years old and just awesome. I lovelovelove being her mother. Seriously amazing living with someone you look forward to seeing every day.

I imagine this is what love feels like.

Writing is fun again. Doing a fan fic on ID website (poor Carolyn, she's being tortured with stale, shrimp chip kisses) and working on my next Hollywood story which is turning things up a bit. I'm trying all male POV which means I get to cuss a lot more and talk about boobs.

Men are fun to write.

Have a four day weekend approaching so I plan on starting an actual marketing campaign. Being that I hate marketing but love torturing people I love, this could be fun for only me. Mollie (my kid) has already refused to take part. I'm going to hold her WiiU hostage to get results.

Now just planning what book to start next. I'm trying to decide between my girl crush, Julie Leto, Chocolate Kiss by Laura Florand or something steampunk. Or horror. Oooooo, I do like some horror.

And Supernatural. Oh my. If Dean Winchester could be cloned, I'd order a dozen.

Whoop! Woot! WTF?

So Mollie is now 12 and thanks to that lovely rotten Lea, she got a damned computer game and has taken over my PC. So there goes writing for awhile. And with a birthday party on Saturday, there goes my free time too.

Haven't forgotten the blog but don't have a lot to say right now. Work is going well, Mollie is a joy, what little writing I do is fun and I adore the couponing. I plan to take a picture of my hoard soon ;)

Happy M-Word Day

I know I'm going to have a fantastic weekend. Mollie is playing a new video game so she won't be complaining of boredom, all the laundry is done, the frige is full, I feel like baking and I just organized my freezer and now know what food I have.

I'm also itching to do some baking/cooking. Which means I'm going to write.

It's the triggers we have and I recognize my own. I like feeling productive and creative. So when I'm washing out the bins in the fridge and putting all the batteries in one bag and the loose packages of condiments in another (I keep them and take them in lunches, so don't judge), I know this is my preparation to write.

The butter is sitting, getting to room temperature. I pulled out orange to make muffins.

I'm going to write a lot this weekend.

I like knowing what I'm telling myself. Baking and cleaning make me happy and those open the floodgates to writing, which makes me happy also. I can write without these things happening but it's not coming from the same place and it can be a lot harder.

I write well at work, making phone calls and getting a paragraph in here or there.... productivity in other places means word count.

Am I the only one who recognizes triggers? Do you have any of your own?

Blue's Clues and News

Life is a little quiet right now. My daughter turns 12 on Monday so we're just gearing up for a birthday party and hopefully a lot of fun.

I had one of my best couponing experiences ever today. Using store sales and coupons I got Rachael Ray dog food (normally 8.99) for $3.23. Jake likes it and so we now have two bags of it. Got a box of Shredded Wheat cereal for 29 cents.

Had a $40 budget going into the store. Spent $45, had 49% savings. It's getting easier to work out the savings but I had two mis-steps in my shopping trip so I need to be more careful.

Writing a fan fic right now. Needed to have some fun and its wonderful. All the things I love about writing are there: silliness, more silliness and damned good humor.

This is the place where I’d segue into a slap and tickle scene with David and Lucy. But this is a family friendly forum and I’ve already been kicked off once for a rather ribald scene in a story that pushed every envelope including the hot pink one with the Italian stamps and funny postmark.

So instead let’s just say that Lucy and David got home (and yes, they had a doggie bag with the uneaten client’s meals) and they did the things that two grown up people in love do to show they love each other. And yes, before you ask, it might be true that Lucy wore a latex Supergirl costume and David had on a bald cap and called himself Lex but it was just part of the way two grown up people who are in love show how much they love each other.

And before you say anything else, I’m not going to answer your questions about what they did with the mayonnaise packets and glitter. It’s just something that two grown up people who are in love do to show how much they love each other.

And I know you’re especially concerned with the effects of chili cheese fries gurgling in the colon of a woman in a latex Supergirl costume trying to show her  fiancé how much she loves him in the way that that two grown up people who are in love do to show each other how much they love one another.

Let it suffice to say that they joined together and became one then they broke apart and became a very separate two as the toilet was put through some severe flushing actions and then the remnants in the doggie bag was devoured by Lex Luthor and much later when her colon was no longer trying to prove Mount Vesuvius was just a poser, David rubbed Lucy’s feet and she loved him very much and it was good.

I hope that was satisfyingly erotic for you all.

 

You just can't write like that in a real book. Although I may one day try.

 

And Carolyn is writing too! So life is rocking.

Nude Nuns With Big Guns

Seriously, I only watched it for the title. But how can you not love a movie that

• has a bunch of naked nuns wearing wimples
• shows the Catholic church in Mexico as the biggest drug cartel
• has a bad guy named Chavo
• said bad guy owns a garage with no cars in it
• bad guy also has a gang that consists of only two guys
• has a bunch of rapes but the only rapists are priests and one black guy
• has a man rape a nun saying "I'm going to nail you harder than they nailed Jesus to the cross"
• has a bunch of lesbianism
• has a nun on a killing rampage
• said nun likes pussy
• says lesbian are sinners but not the killer nun
• ends the movie with Chavo raping the killer nun's girlfriend and then gets his penis blown off (and I don't mean that in a way he might enjoy)
• shows the dismembered penis lying on the floor

It was the worst movie I ever saw. Misogynist, hateful, violent and had nothing decent about it.

Damn, it was fun.

Give Me Thin or Give Me Death

Oh the amount of titles I had for this post: it boggles the mind.

I'd rather have cancer than be fat

Kill the Fatties!

Fat is the New Ugh

So, here's the story:

When leaving work last week, I asked my 51 year old female coworker what her plans were for the weekend. She has three kids ranging from 5th grade to 7th to 11th grade. All of them are on soccer teams and one plays basketball also. So the weekend plans, as always for this family, involve driving the kids to endless games and activities.

I said to the woman, in a few short years they'll all be out of the house and then you can do anything you like. So what do you think you'll do then?

Her answer: get thin.

Now, she is thin. She's healthy as hell, attractive and looks awesome for a 50+ year old who has had 3 kids.

I have to admit I was shocked. Later I thought about it and wondered if her self image is so bad that she thinks she's unattractive (I don't have any reason to believe she has a bad self image). Or was she reacting to my weight and subtly putting me down?

Despite whatever was behind her words I thought how freaking sad for this human being that all she can think about when the chance to have free time and independence is to try and fit a societal standard that's bogus.

When my darling daughter is no longer quite so dependent on my constant attention I intend to join a writing/critique group. I plan to sit in coffee houses and write on my laptop. I intend to go to the pool a couple of times a week and swim. I want to take a cake decorating class.

I do not want to try to look like a gaunt Hollywood 20 year old. And I certainly don't intend to care more about my outer beauty than inner.

Are we so afraid of being fat that we'd willingly give away the treasure of our time and happiness to assure that we're not fat? I mean, not fat doesn't equal happiness. Thin, healthy people die so it doesn't promise a longer life. All it promises is that a person isn't fat.

As a fat person I'm starting to feel like the world is crazy. The hatred of belly fat is insane. So what folks? I don't get it. Am I less for being fat? Do you have a crystal ball that promises I'll die before you? And can you promise me that happiness increases the thinner you are?

I really don't get it.

Oh... and when my life truly belongs to myself after I retire, I'll no longer be around fat haters. Life is too freaking short for that shit.

My Odd Life

Once upon a time, I saw a refrigerator magnet that read: OMG, I turned 40 and forgot to have kids!

That was me. And then at 43 (after a two year 'pregnancy') I went to China and became a mom for the first and only time. A few years later I had my first hot flash. A year after that my own mother died and suddenly I was out in the world, an aging mother without a clue or a paddle trying to negotiate the streams of motherhood.

I'm not the only one doing it. Right now my daughter has a friend over for a sleep-over and that young lady is being raised by her grandmother who's not only older than I am but also is raising two other grandchildren.

We're the new face of motherhood with steel grey hair and wrinkled hands. We're teaching our children to brush their teeth while we're contemplating getting dentures. As my daughter gets her first pimple, I'm looking at my own face wondering if I should invest in a new face cream to try and tighten my loose skin.

I haven't had a period in over a year yet I'm clipping coupons for tampons.

I knew I wanted to be a mom but I totally expected I'd do it before I needed a new knee or was taking a handful of pills every morning with my morning coffee.

there'll be more....